I have a friend that I haven't talked to in years. She used to be a great friend. I was the maid of honor in her wedding...we'd been friends since second grade. I spent many years calling her, leaving voice mails, sending e-mails with very little, if any, response from her. But even after several years of no contact, I am still grieving the loss of this friendship. She's pregnant with her first child and hasn't contact me once directly about it. I'm a little hurt, but mostly just bummed about the loss.
I think it continues to work in the back of my brain because every once in a while I'll have a dream about her. The most recent was a variation on all the rest - somehow I manage to fly out to visit her (she lives across the country) and she completely ignores me. I spend the entire dream following her around, trying to catch up with her (she knows I've come to visit) but she doesn't want to spend any time with me. I'm hurt and frustrated. I always wake up wanting to reach out, to make some kind of contact but I convince myself that I've done all I can. It's over.
Am I foolish for feeling this way? Why does it bother me so much? I'm not lacking for friendships. I feel completely satisfied in that area. Maybe I'm overly sentimental...who knows?!
To my readers: cherish your friends and family - don't forget to reach out.
To my friend (if you ever read this): I miss you.
I know the friend you speak of. She was once my friend too and oddly enought I have had the exact same experience as you. All of the sudden she stopped emailing and we completely lost connection. I too will often have dreams of her. I used to be very angry at situation and even her. But after time, I found my heart change. No longer am I angry. I think there is more going on behind the scenes than we realize. When we have time, I will share more of my thoughts. For now, I have let it go. Should she return into our lives, I will have my arms open however an explaination might be nice. Yes, it is a loss and the most important thing we can do is to pray for her.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts, Michele! BTW- I've decided to send a gift! :)
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about that invitation and your question on whether to send a gift. After pondering...I think I would have done the same thing and sent a gift too.
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